Thursday, January 28, 2016

16 New Years resolutions for every toddler:

Dear Moms, Dads & Parents-to-be,

Happy New Year!!

Instead of starting the year educating you or talking about toddler health and education, I thought I should entertain you instead with some of the new years resolutions I have drafted for my (almost) 2 year old!

Since many will be painfully identifiable, feel free to borrow, and also to send me any that I may have missed.

16 New Years Resolutions Every Toddler Should Attempt: 

1. I will not howl every single time my mom gives me a bath (the shrieking shall be limited to when she washes my hair).

2. I will not scream on an airplane, even if there is no internet, I will not yell "Youtube"or "wheels on the bussss" hysterically.

3. I will not pretend my dad's television is a touch screen and shake it when it does not listen to my demands.

4. I should probably try and eat something other than sugar, bread, nutella, cheese and raisins this year.. but I will take this under advisement.

5. I will not crawl on the floor of every store or mall we go to, maybe just about half of them.

6. I will try not to bite or lick strangers, and just reserve this form of affection for my most beloved ones (like my mother who is sporting big bruises already).

7. I will bully my grandparents for their phones every other day (instead of every hour).

8. I will try to focus on the activities my mom takes forever to set up, for more than 61 seconds (New goal: 6 minutes).

9. I will attempt not to climb on and  jump off everything 2 feet and higher, while my mom screams hysterically and tries to catch me.. Don't you get the point of jumping mom?

10. I will control my toddler aggression by beating up my father on Sundays and not the rest of the days.

11. I will stop convincing my mother that I am color blind by saying "Bluuuuu" every time she asks me what color an object is.

12. I will try and sleep through the night, but only when mommy gives in and lets me sleep in her bed (with my feet on her face).

13. I will limit my screen time, without lying on the floor and screaming about it for hours.  (ya right, I'm just repeating what mom is saying).

14. I will try not to rip out my favorite pictures and the covers, from all my favorite books, and open all mom's photoframes so that I can see how the photographs look when they are bent.

15. I will attempt not to run around with my box of  "blue color" (color-blind??) markers and draw on all the sheets in the house.

16. I will not torture the pets, who I love very much but are so fun to annoy.

More to come!

P.S. I am now on Instagram, please follow along at mommydiaries.

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